Mega Derived

Project Gotham 3 isn’t nearly as good as everyone says it is. For a start, we all act like it was, and still is, the defining moment of next-gen racing. The example that the others follow. Here’s some news: it runs in a clunky half-resolution with sloppy graphics. It wouldn’t be nearly as sucessful as it is if it wasn’t one of Microsoft’s babies, because it’s just not very good. PGR2 was excellent. I don’t know where Bizarre got lost, maybe they all went crazy trying to get this out in time for launch, but they forgot to program in the fun. The whole game plays out like this:

• Get enough money to afford F50 GT
• Win Game

Oh, wait, did I forget to talk about the wonderful tracks? Each of cordoned off by big fences, so you can’t actually see any of the cities you’re driving in? Or the hundreds of races, each more tedious than the last? “Hey”, you’ll think, “I really fancy some of that racing”, only you won’t get to do any because the game wants you to do sixty two different go-fast-past-the-speed-camera levels first. Whoop! They’re where the fun is. And that’s just not a good racing experience. Besides, the tracks aren’t even fun. Most of them are just a selection of cramped, tiny little back alleys, likely generated by random with the games in-built track creator, which you complete by slowing down to 3mph before you take corners. Where’s the love, Bizarre? Take Outrun 2006, a delightful little number that mixes up blisteringly fast corners that you blaze through with selections of careful sharp turns and hairpins and stuff. Those are the complicated ones. Okay, so I’m not really an expert on racing games, but I know that I enjoy the tracks on Ridge Racer 6 and Outrun 2006 but that I think the courses on Project Gotham 3 suck.

That, and all the time you’ll spend looking at loading screens. Jesus, this game likes to load a lot. And it’s not even bad enough at loading to win that crown, no, that went to Sonic 360.

To cap it all off, you’ve got the ridiculously broken online mode where being in pole position actually means you’re 100% likely to lose the race. The physics are so screwed up in this that if another car gets anywhere near the rear of yours, you’re going to madly spin out, lose complete control and watch whilst every other car overtakes you. People actually choose to play with invisible cars because the online mode is so buggered up. Are Microsoft being serious? I don’t know what’s more confusing, that this game made it out of beta or the fact loads of people put up with it on Xbox Live.

Is there anything this half-arsed racing game actually excels at? No. Apart from being bundled with stuff. It’s ace at that. The only reason I played it all the way through to completion is because all my friends were doing it, because we all got a copy bundled in with our shiny new Christmas 360’s. Okay, I’m being pretty rough on it here. If I’m being fair, the in-car driving view is excellent. You get hands, and a steering wheel and everything. It’s so good that sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like I’m having some fun with the game. But the rest of it needs serious work.

But overall, bad. Hey, Bizarre, here’s an idea, fix this franchise up for PGR4, would you?